21st – Derby County January Sale
If you haven’t done your Christmas shopping yet, then I would suggest you better get a shift on. However, as you scrape around for your last few stocking fillers, stores on the high street and online alike are preparing their January Sales.
Derby County are no different and here’s a leaked sales brochure that is due to be emailed out on Boxing day.
Jacob Butterfield – This item has hardly been used for 2 years and should be in cracking condition. Looks ok and has the odd nice feature but not a great runner. Due to be scrapped in six months anyway but a nominal fee will get you this one now.
Chris Martin – This item was our top seller for three years but as fashions changed, was more recently used as a rental item. Was previously a very high end model that would have commanded a significant price. However, it now has little or no value so we are happy to give it away FOC due to large ongoing running costs.
George Thorne – One from our outlet division. Odd sizing, partially damaged, but retains an excellent brand reputation amongst many consumer groups. Yours for a song……or a packet of pork scratchings if you’ll take all his wages.
Alex Pearce – A great item that we all love, just works 24/7 in our test beds and never lets us down. However he can’t get past a consumer group test for shit, so reluctantly we need to let him go. Would be a great asset to you, honestly. We will be placing a plaque on his exercise bike if you take him and we will happily put your name on it.
Ikechi Anya – This cute little fellow would be a great addition to any household. A god fearing, humble (no not boring, don’t be mean) guy who will cause you no problems at all. Your kids will love him. You can even make him live in the garden in his tent if you want. Just remember though Akechi is for life not just for Christmas.
Ethan Wassall – This one came out the labs a few years ago and has been the biggest waste of time ever. Normally we would have trashed him years ago, but his chief advocate in R&D just won’t write him off, even though we have lots of far superior items we could be working on. Do us a favour and take him away. We are happy to deliver to you FOC.
Andre Wisdom – Another item that was previously top of the range but has now been superseded by a newer, better model. We thought this one would be a winner for us for years, but once its navigation went wrong, it seems everything else went to pot too. For a small investment, would be a great renovation project for anyone.
Bradley Johnson – This big bear can be a great piece, but the performance is just too erratic for the extraordinary running costs. If you can make him more efficient to run, could be a bargain. Get involved you know you want to!
Posted on December 21, 2018, in Derby County Advent Calendar 2018 and tagged alex pearce, Andre Wisdom, bradley johnson, Chris Martin, derby, derby county, George Thorne, Ikechi Anya, jacob butterfield, ramspace, the rams. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.