5th – Mels Worst Eleven – Part 2

Continuing yesterdays trip down misery lane with the Derby County recruitment team of Transfer windows past, here’s the second part of Mels Worst Eleven.

8 – Julien De Saart – Signed from Boro on loan to fill the CDM role. Technically decent, he started with a cracking performance in the cup win at West Brom. However it soon becomes apparent he has the physicality of a 12 year old girl and is brutally bullied in the warzone that is the Championship. Confidence fails, passing radar goes to shit, Rowett bins him at the first opportunity.

9 – Nick Blackman – Rams steam in to gazump Sheff Wed to sign one of the Championships top goalscorers on a cut price £3m deal. As yet another bumper contract is dished out, nobody checks this is his only good season in 10 years. It soon becomes apparent Blackman is beyond woeful and he soon becomes an object of ridicule to Rams fans. Decides to devote his efforts to charity work and we just loan him out to whatever randoms will take him off us.


After having his name drawn from over 50,000 entrants, competition winner Abdoul still cant believe he is going to train with Derby for 2 years.

10 – Chris Martin – The new contract given to Chris Martin was surely the single most stupid thing we have done in recent history. Don’t get me wrong, Chris was great for DCFC and a top player. We could have sold him for circa £8m when his time was up, but decided not to. We then try to engineer a loan cancellation by handing out a bumper new deal to a player who has hardly kicked a ball for us since.  Thanks Sam Rush, you twat.

11 – Abdoul Camara – Bristol City’s French scout gets them Jonathan Kodjia and a subsequent £12m fee, ours suggests Mbappe but actually delivers this clown. His famous comedy chant couldn’t disguise the fact that he was so far off the standard required it was a joke. Embarrassingly bad.


Alex Pearce – If someone can let me know the point of Alex Pearce and in particular his new contract, that would be great. “He’s on the bikes at 8am everyday” doesn’t count.

Bradley Johnson – To be fair, there have been many worse signings than Bradley Johnson but £6.5m??? Wowzers.

Manager – Darren Wassall – After sacking Paul Clement, Mel’s decision to appoint the hapless Darren Wassall on an interim basis remains one of the most bizarre and baffling decisions of his tenure. I’m still haunted by that day at Rotherham. Hate me if you want, but if he’d have appointed Warnock, we’d be in the Premier league now.

Youth Team – In the summer of 2014, there is a general acceptance that our Academy is shit and there is no talent coming through. Chris Evans embarks on a bizarre recruitment campaign to fill our U23 team with random free transfers from all four corners of the football yellow sticker/reduced items section. Ivan Calero, Alfi Santos, Shaq Macdonald, Tom Koblenz, Bujanku, Johnny Mitchell. Every single one of them fails to get even remotely anywhere with DCFC, but they all hang around long enough to block the route for genuine academy players for a good two years.


Posted on December 5, 2018, in Derby County Advent Calendar 2018 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. the winger signed from St Mirren who has been injured for 2 years and I can’t even remember his name. Actually can anyone confirm he is a winger or even was once a footballer?

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