Derby County Fanspotting
If you were looking for a set of UK football supporters that have been through the mill more than Derby County fans in the last five years you would do well.
Yes, we’ve not been relegated, been in financial difficulty or been rinsed by foreign owners like several clubs, but, as the saying goes, it’s the hope that kills you. After the horror of Wembley, it seems the Rams capacity to emotionally destroy their fans knows no bounds with the rollercoaster results this year doing little to halt the trend.
Any Derby County online group or feed and often the away end at any given game is currently not a nice place to be, with the word “toxic” regularly being used. Civil war is raging between fans at levels not seen since the Clough days but its maybe not as straight forward as happy clappers v wrist slashers.
Here’s how we break down the factions.
Wristslashers – We all know these guys. At the first hint of a bad result or performance, the manager must go. Every signing we pay too much, every time we miss a signing we aren’t investing enough. Every Rams player is overpaid shit, every opposition player is awesome….until we sign him then he’s shit too. Every win is lucky, every defeat is the final straw. We should never have sacked Clough, Clement, McClaren even though I was screaming for them to go at the time. Rowett isn’t the answer, you said so all along (apart from when he was at Birmingham when he was definitely the answer). I’m not renewing this year…….ok well one more season.
Happy Clappers – Mel Morris is God and Rowett is Jesus. We are so lucky to be owned by and be in the safe hands of ‘one of our own’. It’s a shame we’ve sacked so many managers but Mel’s just trying to find the magic formula. Our Academy is one of the best in England, we are so lucky, what do you mean we haven’t bought a decent player through since Will Hughes? That’s not right. Wass is a legend, he’s all over it. Bristol was bad but we battered them first half and that guy should have got sent off. Gaz knows what he’s doing, dropping the whole team at Barnsley didn’t lose momentum at all, everyone does it. I think we’ll beat Birmingham 6-0.
Young Team – Derby’s own baby squad who you can see online or at most away games. These guys are up and down like the proverbial whores drawers. One minute its “0-1 down who gives a fuck, we’re Derby County and we’re going up”, 5 minutes later its “we’re fucking shit”. Lose a game its straight onto twitter to call everyone a wanker and post something brutal about Bradley Johnson or Keogh; win a game and we’re all looking forward to Champions league in 3 years time. I guess we were all like this at some point, we just didn’t have the internet or the budget for £400 coats.
Every game until I die – Here’s Derby’s true fans. Don’t argue with these boys because their moral high ground is a peak you can’t reach. You do every game home and away? Fuck off. Where were you for the U-18s away at Preston last Thursday? Formations? Mobility in midfield? What are you on about? Are you going to watch the 23’s at Southampton tomorrow? No, well don’t bother me with your opinion because it doesn’t count.
Spice of life merchants – An interesting gang who hang around on the edge of happy clapping but will occasionally lose their shit and have a rant. Borderline ultra’s, these guys are more into the concept of supporting the Rams, planning their trips, drinking beer and having a laugh all wrapped around the Super Rams. For these guys DCFC is life and whilst they may get down in the dumps, the team could literally be playing in Non- League and plans would still be being laid down for big weekends away in Clacton. Sorry, not been online today, been in the garage painting a flag for Sheff Wed away, 30 of us going, Train at 6.30am, hotels booked Friday, Saturday & Sunday, Good Times!
Vampires – This is a new breed which is definitely born of the internet. These guys like nothing better than to RT a tweet from 8 years ago to make a minor point or to drag down any enthusiasm for the club which they feel is misplaced (which they believe is pretty much all of it). As the name suggests, these guys love the dark, so when the Rams win you don’t see them. When something bad happens, they come alive sucking the life from anything positive and snidely sniping at every open wound they can find. The Kieftenbeld fiasco was Valhalla for these boys, with the Hull game being a timely stake through the heart. Sadly after this weeks sorry events, I expect their numbers to multiply as the store of bad vibes for them to feed off increases.
The above is obviously a bit of a laugh, but the one thread amongst all the above groups is that we are all Derby fans who just want to see a winning team. It seems clear it’s going to be a bumpy ride until January and results & performances like Barnsley & Bristol City are hard to take. However, as Morrissey once said, “These Things Take Time” so let’s keep the faith and get the show back on the road against Birmingham.
Come on You Rams!