Derby County Translate

As another crushingly disappointing season for Derby County comes to a close, we at least have the glimmer of hope that, in Gary Rowett, we may have a manager who understands what the Championship is all about.

With promises of much change in the summer and the football largely irrelevant for the last few weeks, there’s been no shortage of comments in the local press from all levels of DCFC as Directors, Staff and Players try to explain another failure and talk up the future of the club and themselves.

Using our handy Derby County Translate tool, you can read here what these statements really mean.

“I’ve been happy with my own form” – Scott Carson
Translates – Everyone knows conceding from set pieces and these last minute goals have absolutely killed us but it’s nothing to do with me. Thank God for a manager who can organise us at the back and a big fuck off centre half to protect me would be nice too.

Owner and chairman Mel Morris has again stressed that manager Gary Rowett will have a “completely free hand” to shape Derby County’s squad this summer.


Mel applies an update to Sam Rush’s contract.

Translates – Our transfer activity in the last two years can be best summed up in song : –

Anybody who is anybody will soon walk through that door
At Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy
Always able to find you a table there’s room for just one more
At Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy

Take it from me, Fat Sams is now officially closed for business and I look forward to a raft of free transfers, £400k midfielders from Iceland and loans from Chelsea without that clown banging £30k a week out to anyone who wants it (or, as alleged in the papers, ……..stop there please, Legal Ed).

“Nick has trained sporadically with the first team in the last two weeks,” Rowett said.
“He is actually in full contact training but I don’t think he will be one the medical team will want to involve before the end of the season.
Translates – I am being nice and suggesting everyone is getting a fair chance, but this guy is beyond wank and the first blink at getting him out the door he’s gone.

“Derby County has been a massive part of my life and career. If I can give anything back, I will. I have been here six years. I love it here, I would stay for the rest of my career if I got the chance.” – Craig Bryson
Translates – Please don’t sell me to fucking Burton Albion.

“Darren Bent activated a further year on his contract around January time due to the amount of games he played”, says Derby County boss Gary Rowett.”
Translates – Absolutely nothing to do with me guv. Ludicrous contract issued by somebody. How the hell am I supposed to move him on?


Rams fans are buzzing at the prospect of much improved recruitment under Gary Rowett

Bradley Johnson says he is enjoying life under new manager Gary Rowett at Derby County. “I like his ideas and the way he is setting us up,” said the midfielder. “I’m enjoying playing under him.”
Translates – As one of the clubs most high profile pieces of reckless transfer activity, I know I’ll never get a contract like this again. That said, I’m probably one with half a chance of fitting into new world so I’m getting the brown nosing in nice and early.

Derby County fans may have to be patient as they await new additions to the squad this summer, says Rams manager Gary Rowett.
Translates – This squad is a bloated mess and before we do too much, I need to get rid of as many of these losers as possible. However as they are all on mega deals that may take time.

“The work rate and the attitude has come into question but I think we’ve done our best – it just hasn’t been good enough. I don’t think you could put it down to lack of work rate. I think, a lot of times, we’ve not shown enough quality, for the quality we do possess within the changing room” – Jacob Butterfield
Translates – We clearly haven’t put in the necessary work rate and the attitude has often been wrong and sometimes horrendous, thus in most games we haven’t earned the right to show our quality.

Posted on May 2, 2017, in General Rams Comment and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Richard Pass

    What are your thoughts on the suspension of Sam Rush?
    He was previously Chief exec of Wasserman Media Group who happen to represent Bent, Bradley Johnson, Butterfield, Blackman, Shackell, Camara and Luke Thomas and also Paul Clement.

    Best Regards

  2. Great piece to end the season on, ticking all the boxes! Nice one!

  3. Bouncing Cheque

    Clough was lambasted for his signings, in particular Sammon, though that mistake pails to insignificance now in comparison with the raft of under-performing big money signings we’ve made since, few of which will offer any return. It was a damning indictment that so many of our better players are ones signed/developed by him.

    Sam Rush presided over a disappointing transfer policy. I feel the sacking of Clough was harsh, though I accept there were sections of the fan-base weary of him, but that it was also a political battle for control over signings.

    The saddest thing is that GR is hampered by a squad that is bloated & with many players who will be hard to shift & this could impact on how we do. Some of the reasoning behind signings was curious to say the least. Nick Blackman had one good season at Reading after a difficult period. He was in the last year of his contract & we reportedly paid £2.5m for a player who would have been a free transfer in 6 months. Think of the way QPR dealt with us over Hulse. They offered a basic fee which we were forced to accept. Commons, the same (Celtic, £300k). Here, I think Mel deserves a little criticism as surely this question should have occurred to him, as a highly successful businessman, if it occurs to you & me as football fans.

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